no. you can't hotbox the world.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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