i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
