How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
