i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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