There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
false alarm. still invincible.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
