did you get engaged???
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
