just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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