There was a lot of him and a little penis
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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