I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your penis caused this!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
