I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is wine microwaveable?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
