i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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