She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
