Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
