my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
