problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
