And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
