We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
