How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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