his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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