Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
