Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
