we're blogging at a bar
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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