well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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