If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.