ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me