Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  youre lurking in front of me

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  (407): youre lurking in front of me http://tfl.nu/nxpl
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (853)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND

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  (954): When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed. (1-954): RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND http://tfl.nu/q689
  Replies (23) Good night (837) Bad night (3229)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.

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  (248): I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me. http://tfl.nu/tfpk
  Replies (73) Good night (776) Bad night (3125)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

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  (802): clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven. http://tfl.nu/4bru
  Replies (7) Good night (880) Bad night (2829)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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  (517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32
  Replies (62) Good night (992) Bad night (4326)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

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  (517): I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again. http://tfl.nu/bm5p
  Replies (12) Good night (8138) Bad night (1258)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"

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  (262): She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us" http://tfl.nu/wksb
  Replies (13) Good night (1209) Bad night (4147)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she could've warned me his penis was curved

  (708): View more from Illinois

  ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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  (630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d
  Replies (14) Good night (1827) Bad night (4816)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

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  (949): Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits. http://tfl.nu/xzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (2482) Bad night (820)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer

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  (518): Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer http://tfl.nu/1maf
  Replies (1) Good night (1269) Bad night (603)
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  (+90): View more from Turkey

  I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.

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  (+90): I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later. http://tfl.nu/oo4d
  Replies (7) Good night (618) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.

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  (281): My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/vm7c
  Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (392)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.

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  (505): He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ihkb
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (548)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.

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  (651): Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain. http://tfl.nu/p4di
  Replies (9) Good night (348) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".

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  (515): I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well". http://tfl.nu/nj4j
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (271)

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