If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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