so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
