dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
