She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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