Your tits are I can't wait for
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
