i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize