No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
