break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
