my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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