The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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