This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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