I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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