i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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