I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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