He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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