You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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