i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
