even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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