I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
