Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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