theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
