I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
