wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
