Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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