He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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