there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We left an ass print on the piano.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
