Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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