I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Still dying that you shit outside
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
