I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
