I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
