How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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