So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
