He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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