Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
People in love make me want to vomit
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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