once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize