Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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