Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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