i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
