so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
