He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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