If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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