No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
